Expat Girl in A Sex-pat World

I am a single western woman living in Thailand, where the majority of expats are men, and some of these men are what I refer to as Sex-Pats. This blog will be a place to host my future podcast and photos about my life here amongst the sex tourist, the sex-pats, the "bar girls", the lady boys and the beach boys. DCO Thailand

Monday, June 12, 2006

Expat Girl in a Sex-pat world Phuket, Thailand Epsisode #1

Episode #1, a General overview of sex tourism with the local expats.

Finally my first podcast about being a single western (non-Thai) female and living in Phuket, Thailand. An island famous for its' beauty, beaches and tropical jungle. However a big attraction is also sex tourism, and not just with the tourist. Listen to my podcast and hear about the Sexpats!! Phuket is very much a paradise to men in a completely different way then it is to me.

It really is another world living here and as a western woman. I am very much on the outside looking in.

I have been living in Phuket for 5 years. I have finally made a podcast and this took me weeks. This is just a few anecdotes about a few guys and their behavior and the nature of the beast.

Email me at kat@expatgirl.com.

Listen to this podcast!

70 Comments:

  • At 6/16/2006 8:42 pm, Blogger Bangkok Bad Boy said…

    Kat,

    You sound pretty bitter. I guess maybe I'd be bitter if I was a single white girl in Thailand, so don't take that personally.

    Believe it or not, some of we western guys over here are more than capable of seeing past the veneer of "hello sexy man", "you so handsome", etc etc.

    I'm 27 (not nearly 60), living in Bangkok, and frankly loving it. I have a Thai girlfriend who's a damn sight slimmer and more attractive than most of the western girls I've met (let alone dated), and no I'm not paying her.

    Even if I was (and yes, I've paid bargirls in the past), if you look at the real costs of living here, it can be cheaper to have a relationship with a prostitute in Bangkok than it is to have a "regular" girlfriend in most Western nations.

    Talking to my girlfriend's no problem by the way (she speaks English, I speak enough Thai), and I think you really need to consider the sweeping generalisations you've made.

    Would be delighted to do an interview for your next episode if you're willing to show the other side of the story.

     
  • At 6/16/2006 10:00 pm, Blogger BangkokRam said…

    I Quote "the vast majority of them are men and the vast majority of these men are what I refer to as Sex-Pats."

    The insult and genralisation does not effect me, I had 22 years of adult life to get used to that from farang women.

    To insult my Thai wife, who as never had anything to do with the "Working Girl scene" is terrible. Your generalisation that Ex-Pats are Sex Pats, so saying that being an Ex-Pat, that I must be paying for sex, by default means I must be paying my wife and so calling her a Prostitute.

    In my single days, I paid for sex. The main two reasons being that the always very attractive lady always left in the morning and didn't want to go to a garden Centre or round to her family. Secondly, the cheapest sex is the sex you pay for.

     
  • At 6/16/2006 10:00 pm, Blogger expat@large said…

    My first comment at this time:

    " famous for its' beauty" ...

    Beware the errant apostrophe, m'dear. What would Lynne Truss say?

    Second comment: It's easy to stereotype isn't it?

    Fat, bald, unattractive pushing-60yo men... They should not be allowed to have sex because, well, they are unattractive. That seems to be what you're saying. Or are they only allowed to have sex with fat bald unattractive pushing-60yo WOMEN, as seen in some Hollywood-vaseline-covered-lens fantasy world where these blubbery smelly women have magically become attractive to these blubbery smelly men, and vice-versa?

    The men are unattractive sure: that's WHY they go to places like Thailand to have sex, where holidays are cheap, the girls make a good effort to pretend to like them and the beer is cold and inexpensive and as death will be along soon enough, let's forget all about the worries and hang-ups of our old lives. That western morality was all a con...

    Of course not many of these men actually believe that the women like them - they are quite aware that it is a purely financial thing. But those idiots who do go and fall in love, well aren't they to blame for not controlling their hearts' vagaries? Old people shouldn't fall in love either, should they? Not unless they're Jack Nicholson or Meryl Streep or somebody gorgeous...

    The difference in the Western world is that it this trans-generational sex-business is done quietly, surreptitiously, behind closed doors, hidden and made dirty in a way guaranteed to inflict an extra dose of guilt onto their already low self-esteem. Hidden away, where children such as yourself won't see it and get all upset.

    But OK, a lot of these guys are super nerdy, even the younger less unattractive ones. And nerds don't deserve sex either because, well because they're nerds, right?

    Ah, the stereotypes by which we live and control our view of the world, how facile and glib they make our passage through life. Let's criticize people because of their physical attributes: the ugly, the alopecian, the weak-willed, the unattractive, the aged... Let's pick on people for acting out dramas which the results of their unknown life-stories, the reason why they are the desperate, the lonely, the heart-broken...

    Third comment: Mind you a lot of them are truly sex-mad slobs with a major number of disgusting sociopathies..

    E@L

     
  • At 6/16/2006 10:22 pm, Blogger expat@large said…

    p.s. I am not trying to scare you off pod-casting or expressing your opinions, I really was interested by your stories of the sex-pats you know. They sound oh so familiar...

    It's just that being, fat, bald (see pic), ageing, unattractive, you know, like, I have these buttons - and you pressed 'em...

    In MY stereotypical assessment of white girls in Phuket, they are invariably trying to sell you a condominium. They ride by on the back of a motorcycle, slow down and yell out, "Hey, do you speak English?" then start a conversation about "What a great place it is here! How would you like to go in a competetion to win a holiday here? No obligation. Just scratch these scratchies and see if you've won. Of course you have! Let's go see my friend and see what it is you've won - no obligation!" So there you go, sucked in again by a pretty face. White girls are in it for the money too.

    E@L

     
  • At 6/16/2006 11:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You haven't told us your reasons for staying in Thailand (and in Pukhet, among all those nasty sexpats) for 5 years...

     
  • At 6/17/2006 1:47 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh you poor girl, living near all these horrid, nasty men who are sleeping with consenting adults.

     
  • At 6/17/2006 4:39 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kat, you will enjoy LOS more if you speak less of the male venture here in paradise, and just take whatever gratification you require from one-nighters, while you make it clear in your mind why you like the rules of play back in the US where all the cute guys compete for you, and what you can look forward to, returning to that dating scene. Here in LOS, an asian woman is going to give me much more satisfaction, without putting her list of requirements on me like you would. I know what she requires of me, and provide it without discussion - part of the fun and sweetness of relationships here is the obligation to read each others unspoken desires and convey our feelings by fulfiling them wordlessly and acurately. I work in the USA, and I date there, but white girls just cannot compete with asian girls for my heart. SORRY. You are away from home-field advantage, so it obviously sucks for you right now, looking for a cute farang who will carry your bags for you here in LOS. I am in male heaven here, I feel like a king with my Thai girlfriend of the moment. You do not have anything so sweet or so intelligent to talk about that could distract me from the joy I find with my nit noi puuying. SOM NAM NA, BABY. I hope you don't choke on the smog when you finally go back to LA.

     
  • At 6/17/2006 6:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You should move out of that cesspool. Those guys are losers and Thailand is doing a good job eliminating their inferior seeds from the superior gene pools. They may be good looking but they are still inferior for chasing inferior scum. Let the zoophiles seek out animals to copulate with, why do you even care. You should move back to the civilization where there are plenty of decent guys available.

     
  • At 6/17/2006 6:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Kat. Why are you ranting on about expats indulging in commercial sex? What about the Thais? Are you going to slag them off? Ha ha go ahead! Start slagging them off to their faces and see just how popular you can become. Thais see shagging prostitutes as entertainment. You don't. It's a shame we can't all agree isn't it.

    In my humble opinion, there are plenty of gorgeous 'bad' girls and plenty of gorgeous 'good' girls (I'm talking about Thai women): I am 31 years old, relatively good-looking and enjoy shagging prostitutes on occasion, just as I enjoyed the occasional one-night-stand back home. I will probably marry a professional Thai girl one day (no, I mean an Architect or IT consultant, etc.) but will never tire of finding prostitutes attractive - why would I? It's the convenience see! And the fact that they are bopping around the stage in a g-string, instead of desperately trying to exhume themselves out of a standard pair of jeans whilst whining about the size of their arse. =;-P

     
  • At 6/17/2006 7:20 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Its called "Revenge of the Males" honey.... Get used to it. I left my fat stupid Western wife in 1998. since then I have had 147 Asian girlfriends. All have been perfect.

     
  • At 6/17/2006 8:01 pm, Blogger Bangkok Bad Boy said…

    Ruthless, that's just plain racism.
    Amusingly, if you change the word "guys" to "girls" in your comment, you'll have a great summary of why many Western men come to Thailand in the first place.

    It depends on your point of view, personal tastes, and lifestyle I guess. But comparing Thai girls to animals just because you can't compete with them, is plain bitter racism.

     
  • At 6/18/2006 12:59 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Spend a few more years where you are now and you'll begin to realise there are plenty of men like myself who met their wives (my wife is Thai) through legitimate means and have healthy, wholesome relationships.
    Take your preconceptions to Kenya, where there are plenty of female 'sexpats' to show you what you're missing out on... dig a little deeper and you'll find a fair number of lesbian 'Sexpats' in Thailand also.

    People like you reallt tick me off. You don't know sh*t.

     
  • At 6/19/2006 5:09 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Guys,

    Some fairly lucid comments on here. I suppose I wouldnt want the folks back home knowing I have to pay for sex despite my personality either.

    Kat, these guys dont need a wake up call they need ripping off and let to leave the kingdom penniless and disgraces to their families.

    Telling the world of their faux pas will just get their 4inches of wriggling fury heading south for a couple of evenings but what with cialis patches going for 65baht, things will be looking up quickly.

    Cant old men get a brass for a few months like old deers get a dog?

     
  • At 6/19/2006 10:38 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm not entirely sure with whom Kat hangs out, but if she spent time with me and my friends in Bangkok she would meet 10 or so farang man/Asian wife couples. In all of those relationships the woman was/is a professional (teacher, accountant, country head, business development manager, etc). My wife is likely better educated than Kat but if Kat saw us together would she think my wife is a bar girl?

    Kat's opinions reflect more on Kat and her friends, the apparent source of her sweeping generalizations.

    If you want to see farangs dating bargirls go to Patong, Pattaya, certain parts of Bangkok and the like. But if you want to meet couples with real relationships you need to dig a little bit. Don't lump us all together.

     
  • At 6/19/2006 1:05 pm, Blogger Expat Girl said…

    So far, NONE of the comments have been deleted or edited. Thank you for posting your comments.

     
  • At 6/19/2006 3:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm Asian and a (s)ex-pat in Thailand.. haha.. nice.. i love ur podcast.
    No, i'm not in my 60s and my Thai gf is not from the bar scene. But i still go for the commercial sex.. its jus like going to the golf range, u know? Hit a few balls, sweat a little then go home to my nice gf. haha ya, i'm an asshole. haha
    Men who fall for bargirls? They're those who always thought themselves as knights in shiny armour... here to save the world. *tsk tsk tsk* Forget about it.. jus leave a fat tip when u're done!

    oh.. Phuket sounds just like Pattaya.. maybe u should come down and interview some of the sex-pats here too... and make a comparision between sex-pats in Phulet and Pattaya... that'll be interesting. :D

     
  • At 6/19/2006 6:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You do make some valid points...however I would maintain that most of the relationships here in LOS are based on something that is FAR more stable then the Western idea of romance and that is saftey and security...in fact ALL women are after safety and security, some are just to deluded to admit it (I loved the Streisand interview where she did). Asian women (no matter what the social caste) base part of their decision of picking a mate on the ability to "take care." You even see a Sin Sot paid at unions of hi-so families...Western relationships are typically based soley on emotions and as we see in the US that has a 50% or more failure rate...
    I think that over my 6 plus year stay in Tland (no I am not an English teacher, I have a proper company and though semi-retired make a nice living here) I have learned- 1. Humans are NOT monogamous creatures (this goes for males and females) and relationships should address this...I play and I let my gal play...only no dating, ST only...and this seems to work...
    2. Relationships based on "romance" will fail.
    3. Relationships without clearly defined boundries and role definitions will fail.
    4. Many Western females have lost their femininity...something that the Asian women holds dear...
    5. Contrary to the current ideals in the US it is NOT ok for men or women to become big fat asses...you will not be as attractive if you let yourself go...I am in the gym 5 days a week and take a HELL of alot of pride in my appearance my girl is as well.
    6. I like ALL types of gals...Asian, Caucasian, Latin, etc...Variety is the spice of life
    7. Sex and love are "opposite passions." As Milan Kundera said in Unbearable Lightness of Being, "Love is manifested by the desire for shared sleep which extends to only one partner, but the desire for sex extends to multiple partners." Why has the West shunned this?
    Thanks for posting the podcast...I do think you will be hard pressed to find what you are looking for here in LOS...would be easier in LA...
    Best of luck!!!

     
  • At 6/20/2006 2:32 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Enjoyed your pod-cast, can't quite place your accent. Care to clear that up?

     
  • At 6/20/2006 5:32 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear "anonymous female":

    Actually, my mum knows I've had the clap from shagging prostitutes - would it be any better if cash had not changed hands? To tell you the truth, I would prefer not to pay them but they need the money see!

    What is the difference between casual sex and paid sex? I suppose you're going to trot out that "he swept me off my feet shit" - you western girls are no better than the Thai prostitutes (you only think you are).

    Treating women purely as sex objects is fun and nothing will ever change that basic male premise. Of course ultimately we want to be with someone whom we respect for reasons of substance but at the same time we are always going to be on the look out for a "booty call". This then is the nature of the whore.

    Dear "anonymous guy" (yeah, you who's into Streisand),

    I agreed with so much of what you said and appreciated the points you made. All except for the ignorant one about English teachers - what this world needs is more teachers and less wanker businessmen with their "proper" companies. But then I'm sure you didn't mean to sound like a pompous fool. =;-P

     
  • At 6/20/2006 8:58 pm, Blogger Dick Headley said…

    So Kat what have we learned from all this? P4P is alive and well in Thailand and regarded differently? Men are hopeless when it comes to sex? Most Thai girls are more attractive than most Western women? Have you gotten any offers from 'nice' guys?

    Kudos for leaving all the comments up. Looking forward to your next post. cheers dh

     
  • At 6/21/2006 2:06 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hmmm i think at the end of the series you should expose yourself as a lady boy !! and get married !!yeyayeyayea
    oh well first thought !
    well i was attracted to you and i don't consider myself a sex tourist ,i do like sex . but you wern't interested ! boo hoo . so i painted and golfed and went diving and exchanged mixed messages with (S)
    your so beautiful and charming and half mad and a good diver ! what more could a guy want .
    second thought interview the bar girls ,go satirical ! we do need to laugh at the human being ! we take ourselves soooo seriously .
    well enough from the sacirine shores of amsterdam,

     
  • At 6/21/2006 9:34 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yOUR THE BEST Kat, you got it soo correct, these men can't get a women anywhere else. One pont i think where you were wrong is that they are NOT rich, not by western standards anyhow, most likely getting their dole check sent to them in Thailand. This Podcast is making them cross, cos the truth hurts. a note for the sex toursits - GET REAL. Love you Kat - your great, really fantastic podcast - you said it. Monty D's friend x

     
  • At 6/23/2006 6:04 pm, Blogger Bangkok Bad Boy said…

    "yOUR THE BEST Kat, you got it soo correct, these men can't get a women anywhere else. One pont i think where you were wrong is that they are NOT rich, not by western standards anyhow, most likely getting their dole check sent to them in Thailand. This Podcast is making them cross, cos the truth hurts. a note for the sex toursits - GET REAL. Love you Kat - your great, really fantastic podcast - you said it. Monty D's friend x"

    Oh dear.

    #1. I've had several girlfriends in the UK, incidentally including a couple of models (never again).

    #2. You can't get a dole cheque sent to Thailand. Even if you could, you have to turn up at the office in the UK every two weeks to sign your declaration. I'm not "rich", but I'm self-employed and live comfortably - but you're right, to most Thais I suppose I'm comparitively wealthy.

    #3. I'm not cross about the podcast at all, just helping to point out the other side of the story.

    I can appreciate how frustrating it must be to live in Thailand as a single white female, when most of the guys are only interested in Thai girls. But bitterly labelling all western guys "sex-pats" or "sex tourists" because you can't get laid really isn't too impressive.

    Kat, I'm genuinely looking forward to the next post - a female perspective on ex-pat life here is genuinely interesting, but try to remember that not all of us are sex pests.

    Yes, some of us are more interested in Thai girls than Farang girls, but let's acknowledge that this can be a simple matter of personal taste, rather than because we're in any way evil :)

     
  • At 6/23/2006 6:19 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Henta,
    Anon guy here. Used to be a teacher back in the states...
    Yes, there are some REAL teachers here who work in Intl Schools and know instruction. I was referring to the guys "hanging on" for 30k a month and living like Thais in 3k baht a month apts...Where's the future in that???

     
  • At 6/24/2006 10:38 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you are going to talk about why you believe prostitution is wrong then I would be willing to listen to that. However, if your main point is just to belittle men who are found wanting in the 'looks department' then this is rather trivial - unless of course you are going to do it in the interests of comedy (in which case you would have to put an amusing slant on the whole thing). Sure, we can all laugh at ugly blokes (and we should be able to laugh at ourselves, first and foremost).

    If however you are just having a dig at others because you have an inflated idea of your own self-importance, put a photo of yourself on the site and let's see what you got baby!!

    If you reworked the original concept, the blog could be a winner!

     
  • At 6/25/2006 5:06 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ummm... I'm a 27 year old westerner living in BK. Let me tell you my humble opinion.

    Yes, sexpats exist. They do all over the world.

    But, having had a string of farang gfs, I think the thing that makes living with my Thai gf so easy is exactly that -- that it's easy. No mood swings, no silences, no mind games, no "high-maintenance". She is honestly the first women I've met who has accepted me for ME, not for who she thinks she can make me or who she thinks I am.

    Consequently, we spend all our time living life, rather than struggling with the relationship. I don't ever feel it's a battle of wills (a common feeling I had with the farang gfs) and I never need to question WHY she's doing whatever she is. I love that. I'm gonna marry this girl. Because, frankly, I'm in heaven in this relationship. It doesn't hurt that she's got a smokin' body and a dynamite happy personality as opposed to the typical farang (GB) personality filled with misery, woe, inadequacy and selfishness.

     
  • At 6/25/2006 1:19 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Anon Guy,

    So you're one of us. I'm preaching to the converted. Good. I feel better now.

    There are real teachers outside of the International Schools too they just don't get paid very much. For example, Chulalongkorn University pay 30K baht per month + overtime and yes there is no real future in the that, hence the transient nature of foreign teachers. This is a fact which is apparently lost on the Thais.

     
  • At 6/26/2006 1:09 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i'm really sorry...

    but you come across as just another frustrated american woman.

    you have those stupid american morals, try to apply them to another part of the world, and have no understanding of how thai society works.

    pathetic.

     
  • At 6/29/2006 4:17 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Please continue! Many of us women who want to travel to SE Asia one day are interested in this. I really hope you travel to Cambodia one day. Just ignore the "you must be bitter/fat/moody/whatever'y and mad because you can't have the wonder that is ME!" posted here (or be greatful for putting some fire under their seats ;)).

    It is very interesting. Looking forward to part 2!

    Colette

     
  • At 6/29/2006 8:17 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why do western girls find it so difficult to understand why so many western men choose Thai girls over western girls? I have lived in England all my life and I find good-looking English girls to be notoriously difficult. The behavior of nice looking girls here, especially in nightclubs and other social scenes is pretty pathetic. They act as if the answer to all your problems along with everlasting joy, ecstasy and peace is to be found within their wet love-tunnels and that just one fleeting moment of hope that you might enter this sanctuary is more than you deserve. They are actually mostly crap shags with serious attitude problems. If a girl leaves a nightclub thinking that at least fifty guys in there wanted to shag her IF she was going to put out then it's been a successful night for her; she'll leave with a smug smile and a boosted ego. I am in my early thirties and have spent long periods of time single just because girls here do my head in. I don't need to give a personal profile here but I think I tick a few of the boxes on the average western girls' mental tick sheet! If I was a bit nerdier, a bit older, a bit overweight - god knows what I would make of females attitudes towards me. I have dumped nice looking girls after the first date because their games have started immediately. When you dump them - my god do they really want you then. I have been asked in this situation what the problem was. I've explained that they "acted like they didn't even like me". I've been told that they "don't have to act like they like guys, that guys always come back for more" – quite frankly I can’t be bothered!

    Kat I don't know you personally but perhaps you have your entire western sisterhood to blame for your lack of appeal in the land of plenty.

     
  • At 7/11/2006 4:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't know why you idiots are getting all worked up. Kat is merely pointing out what is the norm here. We all know that not all Thai women are like this or that all farang men are like this but the majority are. So, please cut her some slack for she is only speaking the truth. You want the truth? It's obvious "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

    Kat my friend... Keep on Rocking in LOS!

    I'm Dipster the social guy!

     
  • At 7/12/2006 11:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So Kat -

    Are you a one hit wonder, or what?

     
  • At 7/17/2006 6:39 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Kat - My entire life I have been an expat (mostly in Asia), and although I cannot relate to your problem of finding partners, your views on what you call the 'sexpat' culture are not at all alien to me.

    I am very amused by the rather defensive reactions you have received from men here - it's facinating just how much gender differences dictate perception. My guess is that these defensive reactions are born not only from experiences from "the other side of your story", but also because many men - I here respectfully say - just don't know any better when it comes to the games women play to win their hearts. They might have a hard time swallowing the comments you made on your podcast partly because you're right, and partly because your generalisations may be somewhat insulting.

    But it's unavoidable, in many east-asian societies, to think lowely of a western man who walks beside a trashy-looking young asian woman. It's a common prejudice. The immediate conclusion both men and women make (having seen such a couple) is: She wants him for his money and he wants her because she'll behave submissively in ways empowered women from societies which propound equal rights for all sexes don't. I think this kind of agreement is pitiful, and those involved are indeed shameless. But what these prowling western men do, and consequently asian bar-girls too, is also none my business, or anyone else's expect for those immediately concerned.

    You see, it boils down to the fact that when western men chose so-called 'bar-girls' for girlfriends (albeit for chauvenistic reasons), the chosen bar-girls also reap benefits (albeit financial or something else beside the reception of unconditional love). Everybody wins. In other words, both parties are not deceiving each other in a siniter fashion; put very simply, they're both getting what they want.

    So it's not as if western women are inadequate or competing necessarily with "easy" bar-girls - it's about the values that you Kat, as an individual living under foreign circumstances, have and hold.

    There's a lot of seemingly decent and actually decent men out there in Phuket flirting and fucking asian women who don't share your opinions of what you deem to be a proper, honest and acceptable relationship. Given this, you seem to have two options: 1) use bar-girl tactics and their passive relationship-strategies yourself to get the men bar-girls would otherwise 'hold hands with' or 2) just let go of the idea that bar-girls form some sort of competition by attracting men you seem to be implicelty saying you should have a better chance at attracting. If you don't agree with sexpat culture, don't resist it, but be content with the fact that it's just going to be harder for you to find a boyfriend that is also repulsed by the sexpat scene, precisely because Phuket, and Bangkok (and Wanchai in Hong Kong) attract men of another kind, with other tastes.

    I can see that neither option solves your opposition to the sexpat culture, but be patient. Appreciate the idiosycracies of living in an asian tourist-oriented society as an expat. After all, few people in this world have that chance. In some ways I can see you already are appreciative - why else would you have published the podcast that you have!

    I'm looking forward to future episodes.

    Cheers.

     
  • At 7/26/2006 9:01 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yaaaaawn
    Get yourself over to Jamaica Kat... you're missing out on the f**k fun with your fellow females who often indulge in young black boys.........

    http://www.orientexpat.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=8676

     
  • At 7/26/2006 10:09 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Unbelievable the lengths that these sex pats will go to to justify themselves. As a male I find it easy to strand in a group of these people and listen to the tripe they spew as justification, quoting apparent "Thai Culture" and how much the Thai ladies love it etc...

    Yes there are legitimate relationships between foreigners and Thai's of all ages and you can usually spot them, Thai girls (good ones) show either legs or shoulders, both at the same time is a bar girl.

    Keep up the good work Kat. See if like me you can spot the people who are desperately trying to justify a shaky standpoint with little researched fact and plenty of man gossip.

    James.

     
  • At 7/27/2006 11:39 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was also a single western girl living in Thailand for five years. I had a great time. I go back now every year for holidays and see my old friends.

    Yes of course the sex industry is there, if you go looking for it. Why would you want to date a man that lives in that area and hangs out on that scene anyway. Also why go looking for a man. If they fancy you, they will ask you out. Doesnt that tell you something.

    I was a diving instructor on the south west coast. The expats that live there are into sports, and the guys down there are more than capable of being around both beautiful western girls as well as Thais. The mixed relationships down there are not from the sex industry. Thais can speak English as can us Brits speak Thai. So

    I think you need to see a little more of Thailand. Do you think there are no professional Thai people over there. Some of my best friends live in Bangkok. I do not think they are sad. Take off your blind ers and go take a good look at Thailand, instead of focusing on something you have homed in on. You sound lonely and desperate for a man. Maybe you should go home. You may have more luck there.

    It is about time you realised that phucket is not what you describe as paradise. why the hell did you spend 5 years there? If you are so down on the place, Leave.

    You are not any where near one of the only western single females in Thailand. You need to get out more.

     
  • At 7/28/2006 7:40 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is pretty funny - the only activity here is from readers - the "blogger" is too busy to blog.

    Bah.

    Welcome to my (virtual) killfile, Kat.

     
  • At 8/23/2006 2:49 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    To those western men: Quit bashing her. Don't displace your anger. Y'know, that anger that you got from rejection from your own homeland's women? You act like your the victim here?!

    And Kat...

    Spare me you dribble. Your crying about how "no ones holding the door open for me." Pleeeeaaassssee. The fact of the matter is that you are not the centre of attention here. Face it. You don't offer what the Thai girls offer so that is how the cookie crumbles. You too are acting like your the victim here.


    But let's ask ourselves who really is the victim here? Let's step outside the box shall we?

    WHAT ABOUT THE FRICKEN THAI GUYS!!! HOW DO YOU THINK THEY FEEL!!???? THEY ARE THE REAL VICTIMS HERE ...YOU DUMMIES!

    Whew! Sorry for the yelling, but let's analyze this. Let's look at it from the Thai point of view here. Let's look at it thru their eye's.

    Here's what they are thinking: Fat ugly hairy men who come and take our "cream of the crop" women while they stumble around drunk and overstay their visas.

    And guess what? We are the ones that drive you suns-a-biatches around in our taxi's. We are the ones that answer your stupid "Where can we find pretty lady, love you long time!?" questions. BY THE WAY, FOR THE LAST FRICKEN TIME, THAT "LOVE YOU LONG TIME " LINE WAS FROM THE MOVIE 'FULL METAL JACKET'... THAT LINE WAS SAID BY A VIETNAMESE GIRL. THAT MOVIE IS ABOUT VIETNAM. THIS IS THAILAND - YOU IDIOTS!!!!

    And at the end of our 12 hour taxi shift we get the pleasure of chauffering your sorry asses home to your 5 star hotels and listen about how you shagged two 18 yr old chicks at once. Oh fricken joy!!!

    And what is Kat doing in this blog? She's biatching about her social life in Thailand. Like your life is sooo bad compared to that of the Thai girls.

    Thanks for listening......Peace to my taxis driving brothers out there.

     
  • At 8/27/2006 3:59 pm, Blogger Thailand said…

    just showin' some love on your site. love to hear more of your thoughts. everyone has an opinion for which we can argue its validity. we all have vulnerabilities from which we speak. i hope that you are concious of the hurt and insecurities that we all posses, but that should never silence us from letting our voice be heard!

     
  • At 8/30/2006 7:02 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Looks as if Kat is a troll. Kind of thought as much. Oh well guess our laffs at Kat are over with.

     
  • At 8/30/2006 11:04 am, Blogger Jamie Monk said…

    You live in Phuket?

    Must be a different Phuket to the one I live in.

     
  • At 8/30/2006 6:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Why are you living in Thailand? After listening, I say you sound extremely unhappy, wouldn't you be better of living in the US. Or do you want to spend 5 more unhappy years in Thailand?

     
  • At 10/01/2006 9:18 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Never mind Kat, you can have a suck on my Bell-End as a consolation of some sort. Get yer tits oot for the lads...

    Scotty

     
  • At 10/21/2006 3:33 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kat, having lived in Thailand myself as a SWF for a couple of years, I empathise with you entirely. Thailand is a vile place, with a horribly negative energy, a largely passive aggressive population, and athe dregs of western society marching around with their tiny cocks coerced out of retirement by nubile young money obsessed bimbos. There is little good about the place, except the odd white sand beach now unfortunately overrun with trusties and sex tourists. There are so many nicer places to live in Asia - India in my view is the best. At least Indians are warm, hospitable, genuine, passionate ( mind rather than matter), interesting and above all intelligent people, with a fabulously diverse and endlessly fascinating culture (vs a 'thai rak thai, we've never been occupied o er unless you forget the fact that we invited the Japanese to cross out land whilst we sat filing our nails on the fence).

     
  • At 11/30/2006 11:44 am, Blogger Ozone said…

    Kat ~ your comments were spot on. In my opinion its absoulutely refreshing to hear a woman's perspective. Please keep us posted.

     
  • At 12/02/2006 7:01 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kat, your email is not working.

     
  • At 12/15/2006 4:31 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    After doing much reading on the sex-pat phenomenon I see the same arguments repeated endlessly.

    The type of man attracted to Thai women is one who, for whatever reason, has had bad experiences with women in their home countries.

    They are understandably bitter and enjoy "getting revenge" on western women by insulting them.

    They long for a time before feminism, when their egos were catered to. In a way they are refugees from the feminist movement.

    Western women no longer have many reasons to submit to men; women from poor countries have many reasons.

    As a western women I do not feel insulted because there are plenty of men who understand women are equals and treat us with respect.

    Sex-pats are a small fraction of the population of the world and have every right to seek out the qualities they want from women, provided they are of legal age.

     
  • At 12/18/2006 3:52 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I tend to agree with the other posters - the men are defensive because all of this hits too close to home. And yes, Kat does sound like a bit of a whiner. Why more people don't take resonsibility for their lives instead of expecting someone else to come along and give them a life, is beyond me. By the way, I came to Phuket as a single girl 6 years ago and was never on the hunt for a man (my mama raised me better than that). I met quite a few cuties, had a relationship with one that didn't work out and made longterm friendships with others...one of the longterm friendships and I married after 4 years together...and when we hang out with our mixed group of friends (some married to other farangs, some sexpats) they all display their envy of my husband with his hot, intelligent, hard-working, sweet wife that he actually has a relationship with. Instead of their "hit it and quit it" existences. And yes, some of them are in longterm relationships with uneducated, sweet young attractive women, but they are usually dying to have an actual conversation most days due to language/cultural barriers. And they drink too much to escape.

     
  • At 1/11/2007 4:27 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's definitely a reader's blog!

     
  • At 3/16/2007 2:18 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You rock girl.. don't stop.

    I have been to Phuket 10 times, and I am about to make my 11th trip!

    The comments that most of the men have made here are purely defensive, they just can't face the truth about themselves.. either nerdy or old or just insecure or mostly sadly of all.. just plain lonely. And hey, who wouldn't want a girl at their beck and call constantly feeding their ego.. the funny thing is that they actually believe it!

    When I come to phuket (usually with my husband) we mix with a diverse group of people, from the roughest bars on surin beach to the yacht club.

    They are all good people and we have made some fantastic friends.

    I like your honesty. It must be hard being a single western female in phuket.. sometimes I feel invisible when I am there!!!

    Enjoy life in paradise, you deserve it!!

    See you around surin..

     
  • At 8/24/2007 1:36 pm, Blogger Rory said…

    You can tell a lot about someone by the words they use to hurt others. Losers, sad, ugly, pathetic, tiny dick, etc. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it. No one ever erected a statue to honor a critic.

     
  • At 8/26/2007 7:50 am, Blogger Unknown said…

    How about them Yankees?

     
  • At 11/26/2007 12:26 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what i love about all of this is that after it's all said and done the "expat girl in a sex-pat world" will still be single, ugly, old and probably fat...

    just admit it, nobody wants to have sex with you, thus this silly blog...

    in celebration of your overall lameness, i'm gonna go out and get three LBFMs tonight, and you no what, there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it, and then i'll do it again tomorrow and then the next day as well...

    i'm old, i'm ugly, but unlike you i still fuck...

    sucks to be you, i guess...

    haha

    :)

     
  • At 12/14/2007 9:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good for you keeping all the comments up good or bad.
    Makes it more interesting. I liked your revenge of the nerds comment. I had that exact reaction when I walked into a bar in Bangkok and saw like 150 hot chicks and
    5 poorly dressed homely western guys. I am not against it though. If you are not handsome and rich in the west you are not gettin much love from most western women . I am glad there is a place where guys can get a little relief. We need it and the girls need the money.

     
  • At 3/24/2008 7:44 am, Blogger Mustava Mond said…

    Sex, Shmex...It's not sex from women ( Or girls as some like to say in order to belittle, ) i'ts a personal household maid men want.
    A Mommy!
    C'mon , most ment are bi-sexual, the rest are gay..
    Thai women will serve you meals and then clear the dishes, Am I wrong here? Whereas as western women know better than to feel they must act as maid in order to have a relationship.
    As far as complaining about western women being fat, the men are just as grotesque.
    But really if men want to pay for pussy, why not? It's their dicks that are going to turn green.

     
  • At 4/30/2008 7:01 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what happened only 1 post????

    Shitty

     
  • At 8/29/2008 9:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Simply my opinion.

    While I do not as of yet live in the LOS, I have visited the country serveral times. Thai women like most other asian women from my experience seem to have a better understanding of what their partner needs in terms of care and respect.

    I have a vast amount of experience dating and was also married to an American woman. She is going through her 2nd divorce, I remained single. Now she broke while at 40 yrs old I'm 5 years away from sitting on the beach 6 months in thailand, 6 months in Philippines forever. So believe me there is a very big difference. I am not bitter as the divorce is one of the best things that has ever happened to me nor have I ever wanted for a date in America while living there.

    I now reside in another country, and have traveled and eneracted with women from asian to africa. Accepting a relationship with a European woman is unacceptable and I sure as heck would never marry one unless of course she was worth $$$millions. Hey! just being honest. Asian women simply have too many great things to offer, make far better partners, are less demanding, far more easy going, protective, and caring. I love the massages too. Their beautiful with the sexiest bodies. While European women are getting fatter and fatter, more and more bitter....and in the end will try and take all your money, One will have to be either a complete fool or simply enjoy being tortured to marry a European woman nowadays.....Forget that!!!!

    European women really need to find a way to figure themselves out, as they are hopelessly lost, otherwise they will continue to become less and less desirable.

    So to all European guy out there, listen!!!!! Start putting money aside for the day you can say bye-bye, tell no one about this, there is options besides your local bank dummy, and remember, "9 times out of 10 its the early bird that gets the worm" so don't be a fool.

     
  • At 12/10/2008 2:52 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    keep it coming kat! it's nice that a foreign woman has a voice in thailand!

    a lot of interesting comments, and of course there are a million sides to every story and an exception to every stereotype... but the stereotype tends to represent the majority, who are male.

    the thing that bothers me is the double standard in Thailand among both western and thai men. why aren't there an equal number of bars catering thai men to western women? (a hypothetical - i am well aware of the reasons why foreign women tend not to go for thai men). the reason these guys are assholes is because they treat women as inferior to men.

    and all those guys boasting about their healthy happy relationships and how thai women are better than foreign women because they are less... needy??? most of the thai women i've met are crazy jealous emotional pendulums. but they will cook and clean without argument. mommy issues anyone?

    that said, i do have some cool guy friends here (granted, i have to piss off sometimes so they can all head to the strip club...) and they occassionally date cool Thai women (though they don't usually last that long)

     
  • At 2/17/2009 7:19 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 5/09/2009 4:59 am, Blogger Unknown said…

    Great podcast...hope you will make some other ones...soon!

     
  • At 8/25/2009 7:32 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thailand is the world's number sex tourism destination. There are a lot of men coming to Thailand and a lot of clever girls that make them pay their maximum price.

    The only thing is that men do NOT think that they would stand a chance of sleeping with these bargirls if the girls had equal incomes elsewhere.

    If I were a nice looking lady: I would go back to the western world before my good days were over.

     
  • At 8/25/2009 7:37 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lonely ladies in their fifties now go to Kenia, South Africa and so forth and meet young, sexy men there.

    Prostitution is a part of life. You can not make it disappear by being angry or bitter over it. It is only a bad thing when somebody is forced into it. Did you check the bars for Thai men only yet? where the Cambodian and Birmese women are being exploited?

     
  • At 8/26/2009 11:57 pm, Anonymous Danny said…

    I like the concept for this blog Kat and as always everyone has a right to their own opinion. I fall into a couple of the categories you have laid out here. I am a bit over weight, I am getting older like who isn't. I have been told by others, yes even women from the western world, that I am attractive. I would say at least I am not ugly at least my opinion every time I look in the mirror.

    I have traveled and experienced other cultures as well as ours in the west. I have met friends everywhere I have gone. I treat everyone with respect and dignity and amazingly enough that seems to work fairly well. I have no expectations on others over and above learning about their culture and their lives. We from the west are seen as rich compared to everyone else especially in these eastern asian countries. The same would probably be said with central American nations as well. The fact of the matter is that they all want we have. Whether that is the freedom or finacial status we possess can be debated.

    I have had good relationships and bad relationships here in the USA. On the whole women here are demanding , shallow and self absorbed. The women of the western world have an agenda all their own and the fact that the women of these Asian and Central American countries have their own agenda's should not escape the notice of the men here reading the comments.

    The fact they are willing to do more for their Fat, Ugly, Hairy men should not be grounds for the rest of you self righteous, pretentious, self absorbed females to accept. If these men offer them something they are willing to accept as fair tradeoff for their peace of mind and security then so be it. During my trip to Beijing earlier this year I noticed that even the well educated women in Beijing where much more doting feminine to their partners than I have ever experienced here in the US except during the courting rituals that do take place. Even with my own children I see that for the most part women here have their agenda and men have theirs. The sad part is they are seldom the same. You women want to talk about being strong and self reliant the facts in most cases would not bear you out.

    I would like to have an opportunity someday to experience for myself what the women in Asia are and really have to offer. Based onmy own experience in the country of my birth, it certainly has to be better.

     
  • At 11/22/2009 11:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Kat, I've been thinking of moving there since late 90's but got caught up in drugs and the Seattle grunge scene. I've been living in LA since 03 and sober since 06. I'm a single, (straight) male, 40 years old with no formal College education *but* I'm an IT specialist with 10 yrs experience.... I'm seriously contemplating the move to Phuket - I've always been Nomadic and have no problem moving to new places. I'm leaving you my email address and I hope I can communicate w/ you that way - you seem very sincere, honest and smart so I would value anything you have to say about Thailand:) I hope to hear from you... eric miller: ebuzz.miller@yahoo.com 2802 waverly dr. Los Angeles, Ca. 90039 323-350-5550

     
  • At 2/03/2010 11:35 pm, Anonymous Matt said…

    Hi Kat,
    just wanted to drop a comment regarding your podcast. Dont let all these negative comments put you off doing your cast. Its very easy for people to storm in complaining about everything as you will find all over the forums. Im nothing to do with Thailand btw im an expat in the Philippines. Not interested in bar girls or the bars. Happily married and living a more simplified life or should I say different complications to the West. Either way you hit a raw nerve with "sexpats" which are different to "Expats" and it would be good if you put things in balance with interviews or other things from a positive light. Most people back in the U.S. wouldnt understand the life of various countries around Asia.

     
  • At 3/10/2010 2:03 pm, Blogger Roland said…

    Wow! What an interesting string. The vitriol of the women writers (in general) toward Western (always "ugly" and with "small dicks") men, is exactly why "we" choose to mingle with Asian women. Maybe you are jealous because there is no where that old, hostile, overweight women can go for the same "refreshment"? Please leave your sanctimonious Western moralizing at the altar of your own suburb. Despite what you might wish "us" to believe, you certainly are no "better" than the Thai women, bar girls or not, and are certainly no more deserving of a "decent" man.
    Roland

     
  • At 3/10/2010 3:40 pm, Blogger Expat Girl said…

    Sounds like someone is getting defensive. I never said anything about a small dick.

     
  • At 4/19/2010 10:22 am, Blogger Unknown said…

    as an expat living in a sex-pat world i have enjoyed your podcast, but i wonder why there's no more ??? not more to say about this topic or maybe ran in to a nice bar girl ???

     
  • At 6/15/2010 12:08 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So far I just read 2 comments... and 2 of those from men. (the bangkok guys) I know life can be pretty much like heaven in Thailand for expat men... since as mentioned..cost of living is cheap.. some of these bar girls, massage (?with a lot of extras) girls and just thai ladies... often gives you SEX FOR FREE as well either looking at a long term point of view as to what they will get when the men finally fall for them or some can be real sharks in the first meetings but totally sweet and all over you. BUT THEN again, what do I know? I am not a western woman nor single. In fact just had a baby few months ago..which for some reason I feel so confused that was it the pregnancy that drove my partner to look for a mistress or getting 5kilos overweight after birth or it is just simply HARD to RESIST thai ladies?? I am trying so hard to understand why? Its not like I have deprived of sex or his fantasies... not that it is easy to go for a threesome while being a whale with his son inside my womb :-)

    It seems to be OK for men to f*** around with Thai prostitutes, do it in a massage parlor or bar and God knows where else... I hope the world will turn around at some point when women will no longer be called C* when they chose to have male gigolos instead of BFs

    Is it true that you guys can get free sex from the massage parlors or have your regular masseus giving you free sex as well and not have any form of any sorts of relationship with them or is this pure b***s***???

    Help me understand please...

     
  • At 6/15/2010 5:29 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wonder if someone can help me understand why married men who claims to be very much happily married says he is getting a massage 3times a week of what I know about -aahmmm :-) and a 7 eleven trip which is 2minutes away takes 45 minutes :-) Is it because all this THAI SEX WORKERS are so bloody hard to resist or is it because men in general likes to sleep around when their wives and partners are pregnant with their kids?? Is it possible that this men gets it for free from the massage parlor in PHUKET or is it just another made up story???

    Do you guys really feel good with these paid workers or "not paid" as he claims?? Please kindly say your view without being so defensive about the blog posted by Kat. As I am also asian but not THAI.. (So I am not a western woman who is overweight hahaha) and only a couple of kilos overweight due to 3months ago birth... I really need to k
    now some of your point of view.

     

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